Wednesday, June 28, 2006

No matter what a stripper tells you...

Don't go to parties with metal detectors...
Sure, it feels safe inside, but what about all those ni***s waiting outside with guns?
They know you ain't got one.

The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes.
Coolio did some of that sh**!

If a girl has a pierced tongue, she'll probably suck your d***.
If a guy has a pierced tongue, he'll probably suck your d***.

Here's a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius - You're gonna die.
Capricorn - You're gonna die.
Gemini - You're gonna die twice.
Leo - You're gonna die.
Scorpio - You're gonna die f***in'.

Edit: I should mention... if you haven't heard this "song," where have you been?? As Chris Rock says in the beginning, this was made back in 1999. It's a parody of the song "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" by Baz Luhrmann--the lyrics of which came from Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune. Back in 1998, the "sunscreen" speech had been circulated around the Internet, incorrectly attributed to Kurt Vonnegut as a commencement speech that he gave at MIT. Regardless, it's still solid advice.