Superman is a dick

I mean, why? What did the dog ever do to you? And what about the destruction that ball will wreak when it lands? Why, Superman, why?

I guess the answer is quite simple... It's because he's a dick.

The Office

After this week's one-hour episode of The Office aired, there seems to be some disagreement online as to what exactly was the movie that the characters Jim and Karen thought was so horrible that they both bought a copy as a gift for each other. It was clearly a Bridget Jones movie, although you might need to know what the covers to both movies look like to recognize that it's Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason.

Here's a higher resolution screenshot:

I remember reading people claim it to be everything from Jersey Girl, Just Friends, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, to You, Me and Dupree, etc. Taking a look at the DVD covers, I think it's pretty clear what movie it was.

Trapped In the Drive-Thru

This song is off "Weird Al" Yankovic's new CD, "Straight Outta Lynwood." It's a parody of R. Kelly's "Trapped In the Closet" series of music videos... which was, what I thought, probably the most inane thing to write a song about. Al himself said the drive-thru was the most banal thing he could think of at the time of writing it.

If you've never seen/heard R. Kelly's "Trapped In the Closet," I'm embedding the entire series below.

The itsy-bitsy spider

I found a spider in the shower earlier. Naturally, I killed it, and proceeded with my shower.

While I was showering, I remembered this so-called statistic I've heard about spiders several years back. Of course, I've never believed it to be true--from a logistics point of view, I just don't see how it could ever happen, and the bigger question being--how could the person (or persons) who came up with the statistic ever have tested it to arrive at those numbers?

You might have heard it before--"The average person will swallow 7 spiders in his/her lifetime"--is what I remember hearing on the radio.

The figures and timespan may differ from what you've heard, but you get the basic premise.

How often does a spider land on you? Rarely? Never? One's never landed on me while I'm awake, even if I remained completely motionless. Typically they'd do their best to stay away from me. Does everyone sleep with their mouths open?

Snopes says that this particular statistic (at 8 spiders per year) was made up to illustrate the kind of absurd things people are willing to believe. The Straight Dope also debunks this as an urban legend.

This also reminds me of a statistics joke--"97.3% of all statistics are made up." I remembered it as 80%, but that figure doesn't really matter in this context, does it? A Google search showed 97.3% as the most common number given. Although it did show me something else I like even better, which uses the 80% figure--"80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot."

In short, it's like what I keep telling the people who keep mass forwarding various tidbits: Don't believe everything you read. Question your source, and your source's source. Think about the info you got--does it even make sense? Do some research before you send it off to everyone else in your address book. Don't make yourself into a liar and a fool.

Talking cats?

It's the end of the world as we know it

I stumbled upon this while going through some of the new sites at YTMND--it's several days old, which means my online sources have failed me!

It's a phone recording between a Verizon Wireless customer and Verizon's customer service supervisor, and said supervisor's floor manager. You can read about the whole ordeal on the blog he set up after the call, VerizonMath. Looks like Verizon has finally resolved the issue.

Cliff's Notes on what happened:

Guy is going to Canada, and called Verizon to see what their Internet rate would be.
Verizon rep tells him it's ".002 cents per kilobyte."
Guy gets bill, and finds they've charged him ".002 dollars per kilobyte."
Guy calls Verizon again, but no one seems to understand the difference.

That's the gist of it. If you don't have the time to listen to the whole thing, you can also get a really condensed version here (it's the YTMND site I mentioned).

It's incredible how Verizon's CSRs can't seem to comprehend grade-school math. Maybe they've become too reliant upon calculators and computers (The problem, of course, was that they let the calculator do all of the work for them, but the calculator can't keep track of your units, so when they pressed the equals button, they just assumed that the answer would be a dollar figure, when in fact they haven't done the conversion from cents to dollar yet). I guess if too many idiots rely on machines to do things for them, our civilizations will decline and decay, and morons will rule the earth.

Below is a simple conversion chart to illustrate how the math should be done, if you're the sort that has problems with keeping units straight.

Apple ice cream

I first thought about making this when I first had a conversation with Betty. I'd mentioned that I bought an ice cream maker, so she asked if she'd have many choices of ice cream when she visits me... anyway, she said she didn't have any favorites for ice cream, so I asked her what her favorite dessert was, and she told me it was fruit custard. Since ice cream can be frozen custard (if I use eggs), it wouldn't be a stretch at all to make ice cream with a variety of fruits. Two that came immediately to mind were apples and oranges (more specifically, mandarin oranges, AKA tangerines). I guess that's kind of cliché.

This turned out better than the tangerine ice cream I made earlier (I'll have to try and improve that recipe next time).


2 Granny Smith apples
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 lemon
3/4 cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
pinch of salt

Peel and core the apples. Dice half an apple, and purée the rest. Juice half a lemon and combine with the diced apple, then stir in a little bit of sugar. Set aside and allow to macerate.

Combine the apple purée, sugar, cinnomon, salt, and vanilla extract with a blender on low, for about 2-3 minutes to dissolve the sugar. Combine with heavy cream.

Turn on ice cream maker, and pour in the mixture, as well as the sugar/lemon juice mixture used to macerate the diced apples. When the ice cream is nearly set (20-25 minutes in ice cream maker), add the diced apples. Continue churning for another 5 minutes, or until set.

Move to container and freeze for 2-5 hours for hard set. Earlier (or none at all) for soft serve.

Makes 1 1/2 quarts.

I'm an uncle!

My sister has given birth to a daughter, Kaelyn.

Send in the replacements

Last week, for no apparent reason, everything connected to my two USB hubs suddenly stopped working. I first noticed this as a notification from my APC PowerChute, which indicated that it was unable to communicate with my UPS unit. I didn't think much of it at first, since this happens once in a while, and typically it would restore the communication after a short time.

It was hours before I noticed that the USB communication between my PC and the UPS unit still hadn't been restored. That's when I noticed that my multi-card-reader wasn't functioning properly, either. Uh-oh. Now I'm into troubleshooting mode.

Reconnect USB power and connection? Check. Alternate between either hub? Check.

I've got a third USB hub that's the exact same model lying around, because a few of the ports on it were apparently broken, so these things do break, but for both hubs to break at the same time? That's just unlikely. So the next thing I checked was the Device Manager. Sure enough, there was a yellow exclamation point next to an "unknown" USB device.

But I had to be sure that the USB hubs aren't the culprit. So I ask to try it on my brother's computer. It works. So the problem is with my system. (By the way, bro, not telling the system to disconnect your USB accessory prior to removal can break the accessory, even if you are running Windows XP--remember my SanDisk SD card when we went to Vegas? The last time it worked was in your Windows XP laptop, then you took it out without using the proper removal procedures, and after that nothing could read the card.)

• Reinstall driver? Doesn't work.
• Uninstall, then plug the hub back in? Doesn't work.
• Uninstall, reboot, install again? Doesn't work.
• Search Microsoft. Reinstall Service Pack 4 for Windows 2000 (that's when they added USB 2.0 support). Doesn't work.
• Tried other ways of "installing" the USB driver from Google search. Doesn't work.
• Went to ASUS' website and downloaded their latest USB driver for my motherboard. Still doesn't work.
  

My mouse still works, and so does hotsyncing my PDA. Both are connected directly to USB ports on the PC. I tried connecting the multi-card-reader directly to the computer, but it still didn't work. That's when I figured it out--none of my USB 2.0 devices were working. So I disable USB 2.0 support in the BIOS, and Windows detects everything again.

Even so, this is not how I want to run my system. I want to be able to transfer files to and from my memory cards quickly. In a last ditch effort, I ordered a PCI USB 2.0 card, and prayed that whatever is afflicting my system USB won't have the same effect on it. The card arrived two days later, and now it's in my computer, and working properly. Finally, back to normality.

Warning: Profanity

Lots of bad language in this one, kids. You've been warned.

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut

When I picked up my copy of Superman Returns this week, I noticed that they also had some other Superman-related DVDs, including a "Richard Donner cut" of Superman II, and a new Superman boxset called the "Christopher Reeve collection." Since I already bought the "complete Superman collection" a few years back, I didn't feel the need to pick either of those up.

However, after I got home, I became more curious, and looked up more info. Apparently, when Richard Donner was shooting Superman: The Movie, he also shot most of the sequel. The studio halted production on the second movie to get Donner to finish the first one, and also because he was over-budget. At this point, 70-75% of the sequel had already been filmed.

When the second movie went back into production, several things happened, all of Marlon Brando's scenes as Jor-El were removed, and Richard Donner was replaced by Richard Lester as director. In order for Lester to be billed as director, he'll have to film at least 51% of the movie, meaning much of what Donner shot had to be removed or re-shot.

So, this "new" version is quite a bit different from the theatrical version, and fills in some of the gaps in it. Overall, I think it's a better movie, I'm just not too keen on the scientific aspects in the way they ended the movie. But then, this is Superman we're talking about. "Scientific aspects" of the story pretty much went out the window a long time ago.

A more detailed review of the Richard Donner cut can be seen below.

Model Ferrari

1:3 scale model. Amazing. Now to build a full-scale one...

Tangerine sorbet

So since my attempt at a tangerine ice cream didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, and I did buy more tangerines than I needed for the ice cream, I went ahead and tried to make a sorbet out of the remaining tangerines.

Peel and separate the tangerines. I had five left, and puréed them two at a time. I also zested one of them.

This was about 1/3 of the way into the purée. The larger blades couldn't get it as smooth as I want, so I switched over to the stick attachment for further blending.

Blend in sugar (I added 3/4 cups, hopefully that's enough), a pinch of salt, and a little bit of lime juice. Then pour into ice cream maker. This is after about 20 minutes of churning. With the camera flash working, you cann't tell from the picture that it was still churning... So I took another pic without flash...

They spinnin', they spinnin'!



Post Script: Shortly after I was "finished" making the sorbet, I recalled that I had read a transcript of Alton Brown's Good Eats episode that talked about making sorbet. So I looked it up. In one scene, he says of making sorbet:

Sugar in frozen desserts is more than just a sweetener. See, once dissolved in the liquid, the sugar molecules actually get in the way of ice crystals forming. [...] Now, too little sugar and you'll need an ice pick to serve your dessert. Too much, and you'll have a syrupy mess.

So, the trick, if you can call it a trick, is in nailing the right amount of sugar. And for that, all you need is your trusty sucrometer. Lent yours to the neighbor? Never got it back? No problem. A few simple rules will do.

Now, when I want a scoopable ice, I go with 7 ounces of sugar, roughly a cup, to every 16 ounces of liquid by weight. Now that's roughly, uh, 30 percent sugar.

In short:

Low Sugar = Rock Hard
High Sugar = Syrupy Mess

30% sugar solution = right amount of sugar

My original solution only had around 20% sugar, and sure enough, it was rock hard by the next day. So I took my giant tangerine ice cube out of the freezer to let it melt, then I'm going to add more sugar, squeeze in a lemon or two to balance the sweetness, and churn again.

Ice cream triple punch

So this week, I made three different flavors of ice cream. Two I've made before (green tea and coffee), and one I'm experimenting with (tangerine).

I bought disposable pint and quart containers, so now I can keep more than just two flavors at a time in my freezer, and since tangerine is my favorite fruit, I figured I'd try making an ice cream out of it, and see what it's like.

The flavor and texture is fine, as far as ice cream goes... however, I feel that the tangerine flavor is not nearly strong enough. I doubt most people could tell the difference between tangerine and orange in this ice cream form. So I guess if I want strong tangerine flavor in frozen (but not solid block of ice) form, I'll have to try a sorbet, instead. Or maybe a sherbet.

Since I am running out of space in my freezer, I'll have to finish up some of the ice cream before I try making the sorbet. Or give some away.

Who rigs every Oscar night?

A rerun of Homer the Great aired on Fox a few nights ago. It featured a parody of the Freemasons called the "Stonecutters"--a secret organization behind events large and small.


Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We Do! We Do!

Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We Do! We Do!

Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We Do! We Do!

Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We Do! We Do!