Short Skirt/Long Jacket

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what's best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes
I want a girl with the right allocations
Who is fast and thorough, and sharp as a tack
She's playing with her jewelery
She's putting up her hair
She's touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt
And a loooooong jacket

I want a girl who gets up early
I want a girl who stays up late
I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity
Who uses the machete to cut through red tape
With fingernails that shine like justice
And a voice that is dark like tinted glass
She is fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She is touring the facility and picking up slack
I want a girl with a short skirt
And a looooong, long jacket

Na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na...

I want a girl with a smooth liquidation
I want a girl with good dividends
At Citibank we will meet accidentally
We'll start to talk when she borrows my pen
She wants a car with a cup holder armrest
She wants a car that will get her there
She's changing her name from Kitty to Karen
She's trading her MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron
I want a girl with a short skirt
And a loooooong jacket

Na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na...

Where's the magic?

If You Come Back to Me
Bowling for Soup

You were right
All along
You know I hate that--admitting I was wrong
So I don't answer the phone
When it's you
It's funny when I see
The caller ID that shows the phone line's still in your dad's name

So hey
I'm doing okay
And I'll get back to you if you come back to me
Your voice is so
Marilyn Monroe
It's funny how that
Makes me wanna smash the phone
I wonder if JFK ever felt this way

All alone
Like summer when it snows
So out of place
So out of those fake smiles
I used to do so well

And here's the part of the song where I start
To break down like my broken heart
But it's not gonna matter
The lines are all down
From a hurricane they should've named after you
Maybe I should get a Scorpions ringtone
To remind me of you

And hey
I'm doing okay
And I'll get back to you if you come back to me
And oh
Here we go
Just like a broken record skipping apart
That we both oughtta know by heart

We were right there, and now it seems so tragic
No happy ending, now this whole thing seems so drastic
You ask me twenty times where we could find our magic
Ask David Copperfield or even Ric Ocasek

David Blaine (Where's the magic?)
Lance Burton (Where's the magic?)
Harry Potter (Where's the magic?)
I used to think pop rocks were magic
Siegfried and Roy (Where's the magic?)
Shaquille O'Neal (Why'd you leave the Magic?)

You asked me twenty times, or was it twenty-eight?
And then your greatest trick ever was your great escape

So hey
I'm doing okay
And I'll get back to you if you come back to me
And oh
Here we go
Just like a broken record skipping apart
That we both oughtta know by heart
And I still can hear you singing along

Missing

When You're Gone
Avril Lavigne

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing, too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing, too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do, I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing, too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

Youg Man

Once again you're reminded of a certain summer, the bustling shoreline
Memories of a young man and his proud proclamation
Extend both arms, and the whole world can be embraced
Believing that all dreams will certainly be fulfilled
Everything seems like they're not too far away
In the blink of an eye, a few years have passed

The frivolous words have slowly subsided
Despite the inevitability of harsh experiences
We've never compromised

That's a past none of us can return to
Luckily, the conviction from then has prevailed
The world attempted to change
The young man from so long ago

That's a past none of us can return to
When you're standing on that summer's shoreline
We are still, in our hearts
That opinionated young man

Always

Whenever I hear this song, I always think of her...

Always - Bon Jovi

This Romeo is bleeding, but you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings that this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me, now I'm drowning in the flood
You see, I've always been a fighter, but without you, I give up
Now I can't sing a love song like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore, but baby, that's just me

And I will love you
Baby, always
And I'll be there forever and a day
Always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst, and the words don't rhyme
I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you, always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh
Some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers, try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says that words you've been needing to hear
I wish I was him, 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

And I will love you
Baby, always
And I'll be there forever and a day
Always

If you told me to cry for you, I could
If you told me to die for you, I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you

Well, there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
But baby, if you give me just one more try
We could pack up our old dreams and our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines

Yeah, and I will love you
Baby, always
And I'll be there forever and a day
Always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst, and the words don't rhyme
I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you, always
Always...

The Story

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the roads and I broke all the rules
And baby, I broke them all for you
Oh, because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do, I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
All of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through
Like you do, and I was made for you

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
Oh, but these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true, I was made for you

Oh yeah, well, it's true
That I was made for you

十七歲

十七歲
陶喆

她是個十七歲的小女孩
她不知道自己有多可愛
她眼中只有相信和依賴
好像未來就該那麼好
讓我的心也跟著搖擺

我是個十七歲的小男孩
我不怕面對世界變多快
做過自己覺得好傻的事
那是多麼純真的年代（多麼純真）
那是多麼純潔的相愛（愛…呀伊…呀伊）

不知我怎麼變了　不知她怎麼變了
我慢慢知道什麼叫作忘記
是一種成長也好　是一種悲哀也好
不管我多想留住回憶
它依然隨著時光淡去
Our love

不再是十七歲的我和妳
最好還是想念別再相見
我將永遠記得那一段情
就算有一天我們變老（不要忘記）
想起彼此還有著微笑（笑…呀伊…呀伊）

因為我早已變了　因為妳早已變了
我也許不會愛上現在的妳
是沒有緣份也好　是沒有感覺也好
不管我多麼想念著妳
卻知道再也無法回到那年紀

因為我早已變了（我已早已變了）
因為妳早已變了（嗚…妳早已變了）
有一天我偶而再說起了妳
是一段往事也好（往事也好）
是一段感情也好（感情也好）
永遠將它寶貝在心底 whoa yeah
記憶著那時候的我和妳
Our love

Our love, and our love
那一段十七歲的愛情

You're Pitiful

This has been around for a while, but it's not available in any of Weird Al's albums... because while Al had gotten permission from James Blunt to make a parody of his song, he was later contacted by Atlantic Records, James Blunt's label, which asked Al not to publish the song in his album. So instead of publishing the song in his album, Straight Outta Lynwood, he has the MP3 available for free download on his webpage.

This is why in Al's later video for White & Nerdy, in the part what he sings, "I edit Wikipedia," you can see him editing the entry for Atlantic Records to say "YOU SUCK!"


You're Pitiful
"Weird Al" Yankovic

My life is brilliant...
(What, was I too early? I'm sorry, should I... do you want to start over, or? Keep going? OK. Now? Now?)

My life is brilliant
Your life's a joke
You're just pathetic
You're always broke
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
Really ain't impressing me
You're sufferin' from delusions of adequacy

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Never had a date
That you couldn't inflate
And you smell repulsive, too
What a bummer being you

Well you just can't dance
And forget romance
Everybody you know still calls ya--"farty-pants"
But you'll always have a job, well, I mean
As long as you still can work that Slurpee machine

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
You're half undressed
Eating chips off your chest
While you're playing Halo 2
No one's classier than you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la Loser

You're pitiful
You're pitiful
You're pitiful, it's true
Your dog would much rather
Play fetch by itself
You still live with your mom, and you're 42

Guess you'll never grow a clue
Well, it just sucks to be you

Jerry Huang

Jerry Huang (黃舒駿) is a singer and song writer from Taiwan. In 2001, he wrote a song called "Changes 1995" (改變1995), which was styled as a conversation to his friend and mentor who passed away in 1995. The song recounts the changes and events that have taken place since that time.

I don't know why the video doesn't contain the full song, but it was the only video I could find. The full lyrics are here (the parts missing from the video are in green):

你走了之後沒幾天　鄧麗君也跟我們說再見
張愛玲在秋天渡過了她最後一夜
英國少了一位黛安娜王妃
你最心愛的吉他　現在住在我的房間
我最想寫的那一首歌至今還沒出現
Eagles 在東京開了復出又告別的演唱會
我在巨蛋幫你聽了Desperado
滿臉都是淚

歌壇出了一個張惠妹
王菲變王靖雯又變回王菲
張國榮終於開心的承認他是個 gay

老外告訴我台灣的女孩舒淇最美
Santana 莫名其妙又紅了一遍
Madonna 還是我們呼風喚雨的娜姐
Paul Simon 的臉蒼老的令人心碎
Prince 宣布他這輩子再也不做音樂

世界不斷的改變　改變
我的心思卻不願離開從前
時間不停的走遠　走遠
我的記憶卻停在　卻停在那1995年

現在不用聯考也可以上大學
不用去美國也喝得到 Starbucks 的咖啡
蛋塔紅了100天　忠孝東路挖了10年
諾貝爾給了高行健　總統給了陳水扁

鐵達尼騙了全世界的眼淚
還好我們有自己的人間四月天
星際大戰沒有續集倒是弄了個首部曲
教父第四級的可能性我看微乎其微
男人不再陽萎　女人拼命減肥
愛滋病不是天譴　復制羊長得也不怎麼特別
打哥大越來越小　世界越來越吵　手機卻越賣越好
歌星越來越多　CD越做越好　唱片卻越賣越少

喬丹不再飛　好久不見張德培
老虎伍茲今年才25歲
奧斯卡那天李安用中文跟世界說謝謝
成龍終於用英文　興奮的跟好萊塢說 "I am Jackie Chan"

世界不斷的改變　改變
我的心思卻不願離開從前
時間不停的走遠　走遠
我的記憶卻停在　卻停在那1995年

千禧年地球並沒有毀滅
921大地震倒是把我老家震毀
香港真的回歸　南北韓竟然見了面
我和台中的距離漸漸的比上海還要遠
我還是沒去愛爾蘭　倒是去了紐約
我沒和U2一起表演　倒是看到 Woody Allen 走在45街
全台灣都在 R&B　全美國都在 Rap
只有流行沒有音樂　我看你眼不見為淨也是好事一件
我沒成為你以為的那個人　真的很抱歉
我想我上輩子是國父下輩子是王儲
這輩子最好安份一點　天才就怕不夠天才
壞又不夠壞　天天都想離開
卻不知到那裡才能換骨脫胎

屬於我們的精彩　早已經不復存在
我的她再可愛　只能愛著我的未來
我忘不了你　你卻渾然不覺　小你六歲的我
今年已經和你同年

世界不斷的改變　改變
我的心思卻不願離開從前
時間不停的走遠　走遠
我的記憶卻停在　卻停在那1995年


And below is a more upbeat version of one of his old songs, and one of my favorites.

The Riddle

Artist: Five for Fighting

There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers, but before he died
I asked him, "Wait, what's the sense in life?"
"Come over me, come over me"

He said, "Son, why you gotta sing that tune?"
"Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon"
"Let an angel swing and make you swoon"
"The you will see... You will see"

Then he said, "Here's a riddle for ya"
"Find the answer"
"There's a reason for the world"
"You and I"

Picked up my kid from school today
"Did you learn anything, 'cause in the world today"
"You can't live in a castle far away"
"Now talk to me, come talk to me"

He said, "Dad, I'm big but we're smaller than small"
"In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all"
"Still every mother's child sings a lonely song"
"So play with me, come play with me"

"And hey Dad, here's a riddle for ya"
"Find the answer"
"There's a reason for the world"
"You and I"

I said, "Son, for all I've told you"
"When you get right down to the"
"Reason for the world"
"Who am I?"

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said, "You looking for a clue, I love you free"

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is high
Over me, something comes over me

I guess we're big, and I guess we're small
If you think about it man, you know we got it all
'Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free, I love you freely

Here's a riddle for ya
Find the answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I

My baby don't mess around because she loves me so, and this I know for sure...

This is an acoustic cover of Outkast's song, "Hey Ya!" done by Mat Weddle of Obadiah Parker. It totally changes the entire mood of the song.


Hey Ya!

My baby don't mess around because she loves me so, and this I know for sure
But does she really wanna, but can't stand to see me walk out the door
I can't stand to fight the feeling, because the thought alone is killing me right now
Thank God for mom and dad for sticking through together because we don't know how

Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya

You think you got it
Oh, you think you've got it
But got it just don't get it
Til there's nothing at all
We've been together
Oh, we've been together
But separate's always better when there's feeling involved
If what they say is, "Nothing is forever"
Then what makes, what makes, what makes
What makes, what makes love the exception?
So why you, why you
Why you, why you, why you
Are we so in denial
When we know we are not happy here

Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya

All right now, fellas
What's cooler than being cool?
I can't hear ya
I say what's cooler than being cool?
All right, all right, all right, all right
All right, all right, all right, all right
All right, all right, all right, now ladies
We gonna break it down in just a few seconds here
Now don't make me break this down for nuthin'
I wanna see y'all on y'all baddest behavior
Lend me some sugar, I am your neighbor
Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake, shake it, shake it
Shake it, shake, shake it, shake, shake it, shake, shake it
Shake, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture, now
Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it
Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it

Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya
Hey ya, hey ya